Thanksgiving for my Aunt
I am honored to speak about Lolly today.
First, I would like to say how happy I am to see so many friends and relatives here today. It shows how loved and respected she was.
Lolly requested that no tributes be paid to her today. I will honor that request. So instead I will offer thanks to a wonderful mother, devoted grandmother, adored aunt, caring sister, sister-in-law, friend and teacher. But most importantly my thanks to her for the indelible influence she has had and will continue to have in my life.
Her life and works have always been, and always will be, a marvelous example to us all, to me.
As we look back over time, we find ourselves wondering ….. did we remember to thank you enough…
For all you have done for us as a mother, aunt, friend, teacher, sister?
For all the times you were by our sides to help, guide, encourage and support us …..to celebrate our successes –you always enquired after and remained interested in our progress
To understand our challenges, and accept our struggles?
Or for teaching us by your example: the value of hard work, generosity, hospitality, good judgment,
courage and integrity?
We wonder if we ever thanked you for the sacrifices you made…and you made many.
If we have forgotten to show our gratitude enough for all the things you did, we’re thanking you now. And we are hoping you knew all along, how much you meant to us and how much we will miss and remember you.
You would not have wanted to hear all this because you always shied away from attention because of your modesty.
Lolly was a cheerful and friendly person who loved life. She could lighten up any room and make you happy on even the saddest day with her smile.
If she was here today she would tell you not to be sad and her smile and a big hug would certainly cheer you up.
I am reminded of this saying for us all to reflect on and think of Lolly and other loved ones:
Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.
So Lolly, on behalf of our family and friends, I thank you.
I salute you for your nurturing of others, for your friendship, for your patience and understanding, for your deep devotion to your family and friends, for your truth, and for your uncritical acceptance and love.
For your quiet and deep faith, for your beautiful smile and your dry sense of humor.
I learned a lot from my aunt over the years. She taught me how to to be forgiving, to be kind, to be grateful for what comes in life.
She also made sure I knew the value of family and friendship and that I never took it for granted. She accepted and loved me unconditionally and I in turn try to model that in my life toward those that I care about. She also taught me never to impose my values on others but to lead by example.
She taught me faith.
Lolly was a wonderful human being and I will miss her very much.
She was more than a favorite aunt to me, to Glenda, and Glynis, her nieces and Jonathan, Hillary and Timothy her nephews.
She was a mother to Riva, Bevan and Chantal but also to me, and certainly an enduring friend.
She was a doting grandmother to Hannah and Nahum.
She was a loving sister to uncle Boetie, now our only closest maternal relative and sister in law, Aunty Maude.
I will miss our long talks about family history, your delicious meals, the laughter and all of the time we spent together.
I remember good times in your home which sustained me during my early childhood years in Wellington and later when I lived with you and Uncle Vicky during my high school years in District Six and later when we moved to Lansdowne.
For some of those years, I was pampered by you and disciplined by Uncle Vicky. You see, all this was before Riva and Bevan arrived, and I had a special and devoted place of an only child in Lolly and Uncle Vicky’s safe household.
I have wonderful memories of my childhood and spending time with Lolly.
There is so much I would like to say about Lolly, so many memories, so many good times, wise words, good food, the friends and laughter.
After I left South Africa, she was a regular correspondent… the old fashioned way. She would write real letters full of family news, her own activities and usually kept me up to date with births, marriages but mostly news of deaths of family and friends we knew.
We stayed in touch. We would talk at least once every few weeks on the phone. She would call me to see how I was doing, how I was doing personally and if there was anything she could do for me.
She really cared a lot about her family and friends.
Lolly, your memory will live on in my heart forever. I will miss you more than words can say.
So, in closing, I would like to offer a poem of thanksgiving:
Lolly kept a garden
A garden of the heart;
She planted all the good things,
That gave my life its start.
She turned me to the sunshine,
And encouraged me to dream:
Fostering and nurturing
The seeds of self-esteem.
And when the winds and rains came,
She protected me enough;
But not too much, she knew I’d need
To stand up strong and tough.
Her constant good example,
Always taught me right from wrong;
Markers for my pathway
To last my whole life long.
I am Lolly’s garden,
I am her legacy.
And I hope today she feels the love,
Reflected back from me.
I thank you for these gifts.
I thank you for a life well-lived and will always remember your larger than life presence in my life.
Rest in peace our dear mother, grandmother, sister, aunt and friend.
Together with Uncle Vicky at last.
Love, affection and gratitude always,
Cudore